Wurds: “Comfortable”
November 10, 2009 at 9:56 pm | In Wurds | Leave a CommentI don’t think anyone pronounces “comfortable” how it’s spelled, rather like “comfturble” but of course we can’t spell it that way because that looks ridiculous. “Comfy” is also silly, especially in formal writing, and it is also kind of iffy on its pronunciation. It’s kind of a fine line between an M and an N sound, isn’t it?
I suggest we come up with a new word that means comfortable, or an existing word… I’m partial to “snug.” Or perhaps “pleasure wrapped.” Or “in a satisfying position.” Or simply just “loose.” On second thought, the only alternatives I can come up with sound kind of dirty. Let’s just stick with “comfturble.”
Wurd.
Thoughts: Parts
November 9, 2009 at 12:31 am | In Thoughts | Leave a CommentIf you part your hair to the left or the right it usually seems strange for you to part it the opposite from usual. Feels strange and looks strange… However, if you think about it, how the “wrong way” looks in the mirror is how the “right way” looks to other people. So you have to wonder, does it look weird for other people when your hair is the “right way”? Or does it look weird the “wrong way” because it’s different from what everyone else is used to as well? Personally, it makes myscalp feel weird regardless of how it looks, so I just do it the “right way.”
Writing: Three Random Words
November 6, 2009 at 10:48 am | In Writing | 1 CommentThis week I bring to you another writing exercise of my own creation. I call it “Three Random Words” and here’s how it works: Open up a dictionary to any page, and point to a spot on the page without looking. The entry you point to is your first word. Repeat two more times to generate your three random words.
My three words: Hacker, Passport, Catapult
Now the fun part. Using these three words as inspiration write a piece of short fiction (no specific length).
Martin postured himself over his keyboard, eyes darting between his numerous monitors. At any moment he knew a brief but vital window of opportunity would open for him to execute his plan. A bead of sweat formed on his brow, his fingers gyrating in rythm ready to take action like a bobsled team readying an olympic run.
Then, like clockwork, there it was. The vulnerability in the company’s system that would allow him to make millions. All he had to do was what he had been practicing the last 13 years. Hack.
It was as if each keystroke was a sword strike in battle against a mighty beast who foolishly let loose an exposing yawn at a too predictable moment in the night. And just like that, success, meaningless bits representing real dollars migrated from the company to a private account Martin had set up under a false name. Transfer complete, bread crumbs swept up, connection closed, hard drives wiped. The only evidence of his actions, his bare minimum vital files for accessing the account later on a flash drive. He slips the drive into a bundle of wood carved stones and twine netting, an accessory to a model of a medieval catapult. The model packed carefully into his backpack, he bolted out of the apartment not even bothering to lock up.
At the airport, Martin nervouslyhanded his passport to the security woman. After a brief squint and bringing it real close to her face, she let him through to security. He places his shoes and backpack on the conveyor belt. The next guard commented on how sweaty he was. He said he had to run to make his flight in time: he still may not make it. The guard at the metal detector waved him through. Green light. Home free. Almost.
Another guard asked him if the bag is his. Yes. Of course it is. Does he mind if he looks inside? Of course not. Go right ahead. The guard pulled out the model catapult. Is this a weapon, sir? Technically yes. Shouldn’t have said that. A model of a weapon. Harmless. Could you please demonstrate for me?
Not wanting to draw further suspicion by refusing, Martin pulled back the catapault loaded with it’s false projectile, the bundled flash drive. He really should have made more than one piece of ammunition. Arm drawn back fully, he pulled the pin. Surprisingly Martin’s craftsmanship far exceeded his expectations and hurled itself across the way into the lap of suited man drinking a cup of coffee. What the hell is this? Uh, could you please…
The suited man unraveled the netting in curiosity to reveal the flash drive. Where did this come from? He locked eyes with Martin. Were you hiding this? He set his coffee down, a flash of his firearm holstered under his jacket as he stood up. FBI.
Wurds: “Befuddle”
November 3, 2009 at 4:20 am | In Wurds | 1 CommentThis word is fantastic, but it gets even better by cutting it down by 33% in syllable length. According to the free online dictionary…
Fuddle – To put into a state of confusion; befuddle.
Seems like another one of those flammable-inflammable situations. So next time you feel the urge to use the word “befuddled” try giving “fuddled” a shot. It will probably go something like this:
“I am fuddled.”
“What?”
“Fuddled.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“So you’re fuddled too. Just fuddling great.”
“Fuddle you buddy!”
“What the fuddle?”
“Uh…”
“Fuddlesticks.”
Wurd.
Thoughts: Scientific names. Ish.
November 1, 2009 at 1:41 am | In Thoughts | Leave a CommentSometimes I wonder why things are called what they are, and when researching it isn’t unusual to find an explanation as follows:
Lankester identified from among Moir’s specimens a representative type of implement he named rosto-carinate. This word calls attention to two prominent characteristics of the tools. “Rostro” refers to the beaklike shape of the working portion of the implements, and “carinate” refers to the sharp keellike prominence running along part of their dorsal surface. (The Hidden History of the Human Race, Michael A. Cremo and Richard L. Thompson)
So basically, this Lankester fellow chose a fancy version of “beakish-keelish.” Now if I was fluent in say, Swahili, then threw out to some Swahili folk the term “beakish-keelish” amidst my scientific lecture (in Swahili) they may or may not be amazed at my creativity or intelligence in naming the thing I was talking about. But they most certainly would be more likely to approve than if I used the Swahili translation. My point is, these scientist folks aren’t as clever at naming things as we might hope.
A great example of this is the species name for giraffes: camelopardalis
This basically translates to “camelish and leopardish.” Come on. Are there that few descriptive words that they had to resort to using names of other animals to describe it? I was going to pull up some examples of insects, which I think might be even worse when it comes to lazy names, but I saw a picture of a scary spider and decided it wasn’t worth it.
So scientists, I’m calling you out. You’re using latin to mask your lack of creativity! I’m down for helping out and coming up with some names for you, just as long as I don’t have to name any spiders.
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